Which is ungrateful of me. But I do. And I'm generally a grateful person, I am. I accept and am glad for what I have, and more isn't necessary. But sometimes I wish. And then I hate myself for it.
I wish that life came with a manual. Or a remote control. Or anything that could tell you what to do when you're breaking down into small and irreplaceable pieces and no one, least of all you, knows how to pick them up.
A button for when an illness becomes the main priority in someone's life, and you love that someone and wish you could do something but you can't. You can only watch them waste away.
A button for when you know someone that is so beautiful, and so kind, and you can only hope that you are half as much.
A button that can take you away from somewhere when you hear a scream "I want to die! Just let me die!"
A button that lets you rewind every time you snap so that you don't hurt those around you because you know it's not their fault.
A button for when you feel like you're drowning with the pressure of expectations.
A button to bring the ones you miss near you.
A button that can reassure you that waking up the next day won't be that bad.
But that's not life. Life doesn't come with "Here's one I made earlier" self-help book, or a "Money back guarantee" every time something goes wrong.
So we wish.
So I wish.
And then I hate myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment